Manifesting Intentions:
Be Careful - There Can Be a Downside

Remember when we first heard about manifesting intentions? When we first watched The Secret (a movie and a book about creating your life on purpose and achieving your dreams)? The whole message is “focus on what you want and it will happen.” 

When I learned about The Secret it really sang to me because it gave me so much more promise than the repeated message given to me as I was growing up which was always “don’t count your chickens before they hatch.” 

The flip side is true too. If you focus on what you do not want, you will get more of what you don’t want too.  As an example, if you focus on your debt problems you will get more debt. If you think about and focus on your relationship problems, more problems in your relationship will materialize. 

So, I have lived my life (and particularly since I learned about The Secret) on manifesting intentions. This can be such a great idea. 

Here are some of the things I have accomplished and I believe, at least in part, it had to do with me manifesting intentions: 

  • Getting into university
  • Getting an honours degree
  • Doing my master’s degree
  • Getting into law school.
  • Getting my first law job (word on the street was that there were absolutely no jobs anywhere in my city for articling students in 1995). I found a job and a great one too.
  • Becoming a lawyer
  • Buying a house
  • Buying another house (water front this time)
  • Buying Recreational property
  • Being able to purchase the strata titled unit for my law office.

Be Careful About What You Wish For:

Then I started thinking about getting a ski chalet …. 

The problem is that it can also make life ridiculously difficult. 

What I ended up doing was being so stressed to pay for everything and working so hard, that I found it hard to enjoy my life and my family. My addiction issues creeped up, I got fat, my marriage suffered, and my finances were a mess.

I simply did not know when to say enough was enough. 

The Problem:

There is, however, a significant problem associated with always being driven to achieve the next goal or dream. It is simply that you may get what you wish for. 

I certainly got a lot of what I wished for. What I did not do was consider the cost. And at what cost? This is where I messed up in my life. It never occurred to ask why I was moving on to the next goal without being satisfied or happy with what I had already accomplished in life. 

It went kind of like this whirl wind of a hamster wheel of never-ending goals being accomplished.

Squeezing the Important Stuff Into Life

So, the real problem happens when we forget what is important. 

For some people, they go along manifesting intentions so much, that they forget what is important 

I certainly did. 

We forget to slow down and appreciate what we already have (and I mean appreciate what we have even when we are so called “poor students”).

I thought I had my priorities in order and yet I lost track of what really mattered (my family). 

This is how life goes for so many professionals:

  •             Graduate from school
  •             Get first job
  •             Get a condo
  •             Get a better job or a raise
  •             Buy a bigger condo or house
  •             Buy stuff
  •             Buy more stuff
  •             Lease a vehicle
  •             Get married
  •             Make a baby or two
  •             Lease a bigger vehicle
  •             Have huge difficulty managing everything
  •             Let their health and body go
  •             Become addicted to a substance or behavior
  •             Separate
  •             Divide assets and time with kids with ex
  •             Try to get health back
  •             Deal with addiction issues
  •             Try to lose weight
  •             Try to find another relationship
  •             Buy more stuff …..

What the goal is of course is that eventually we come back down to earth and remember the importance of love and connection after it all falls apart. 

Be Careful of What You Wish For:

So, like all things, there has to be a balance. Be careful what you wish for. The thing is that all of these things, goals, and desires have a cost. The cost can be in money, time, stress, or complicating your life. 

So, when you are manifesting intentions, think about when enough is enough.

So About That Ski Chalet ......

Do I still want that ski chalet? 

When I dreamed about my ski chalet, what I was really dreaming about was being able to spend time with my  family and friends in a snowy mountain paradise (snowy mountains are pretty much paradise to me).

Then I thought, do we really need to own a ski chalet for that? Can't we just rent for a few nights? Isn't that a lot less time, money, hassle and complication?

Dreaming is Still Important: 

Yet, as I say all this, I realize it is important to dream and to have goals. It gives us something to look forward to.  The thing is that it is important to enjoy what you have is all. 

Yes, it is all about balance. 

Written by Val Hemminger, the nonconforming professional

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