Our Purpose in Life

What is our purpose in life? Well, here it is (drumroll please). I have THE answer. And yes THE answer applies to all of us.


See, so many of us have spent so much time naval gazing, wondering, musing, and contemplating, about it. Despite all the effort, we have come up, well, totally dry. I know that I have.


The problem is that I have always had too many problems and challenges in the way for me to get to finding out about my true purpose. I have an earning to live, a child to raise, staff to deal with, a marriage to pull together, bills to pay, clients’ problems, chores to do . . .


I think, well if only I had this problem or that problem dealt with I could find out what our purpose in life is. But who has the time?


Meanwhile, the purpose itself has been put smack dab in front of my face over and over again. Ironically, it has been put in my face by giving me staffing issues, financial worries, marriage worries etc.


Here it is: 


Our purpose in life is to learn. It is to learn to be a better person.

Learning to Be a Better Person:

By better, we mean by being more loving, more compassionate, more helpful, more forgiving, more hopeful, more patient, more self-aware and more giving.


If you think you are already these things. Think again.


It means about behaving so that we are being impeccable with our word (ie. Ditch being a gossip or participating in gossip) and see the problems we face not so much as something that is in our way and ruining things for us, but instead as something that has been put in our way so that we can continue learning how to become better.


Some feel that what we don’t learn in this life, we will have to learn in the next.


For some of us, this whole reincarnation thing may seem like airy-fairy ridiculousness or at the very least wishful thinking.


So many of us think we live and we die and that is the way it goes. The stuff in between is the life that we live and we live that life by succeeding as best as we can.


The Usual Story:

We try to get educated, earn a living, seek entertainment here and there and raise our children. Along the way there are some great experiences and some painful experiences. We try to make sure our life has more enjoyment than pain. We might even hope to leave a cent or two for the next generation. If we have done that, we have done okay.




Well, I think we have gotten it wrong of course.


I will speak for myself. I have definitely gotten it wrong. Regardless of whether or not reincarnation exists.


We don’t have to believe in the whole reincarnation thing to know that our purpose in life is about learning to become a better person than where we were when we started.


Whether we believe in reincarnation or not, the lesson we can learn is that our purpose in life is not just about earning a living, raising kids, buying stuff, etc., but that it is about evolving.


Those who know me personally are aware that the past year for me has been about a ton of learning. The pain I have experienced has felt like it was going to kill me at times. I am not at all exaggerating.


It was not until I embraced the lessons and really dug deep that there was any release whatsoever. It is when I stopped resisting the pain and thinking of “why me” to “okay, this is still really bloody painful, what else do I need to really understand here” that there was some relief.


The Lessons That Kept Coming:

So, at first I thought the lesson was about healing pain from being adopted (yeah, that was part of it but despite my growing here, the pain continued);


Then I thought it was about healing the sexual abuse I experienced as a child (okay, sure, again, some of that, but the relentless pain continued);


Then I thought it was about being able to really listen to harsh feedback from people I loved (okay, okay, yes, but still the pain . . . );


Okay, I thought, how about incorporating the behavior suggested by my loved ones (okay, yeah, but still the pain);


Dealing with addiction? (yeah, but the pain  . .. )


And Then Finally, It Landed

My therapist said “start a forgiveness practice and see what happens.”


So, I began two things. I started doing the forgiveness practice of Ho’oponopono and I listened to my heart.


So, my ego got tossed to the side. My expectations were destroyed. My values re-evaluated. My place in this world knocked down a bunch of notches and reconfigured.


And when I looked around me and saw what was left, I knew what truly mattered. It is unconditional love and forgiveness.


I learned that although some people I may never trust again (or let back in my life), I can go on loving them and remembering they deserve love no matter what.


Rather than “why this betrayal”? It is “yes, this betrayal has taught me about pure unconditional love and deep forgiveness”.


Even now the old bitter resentment will sneak on in and I know my answer:  more forgiveness and more heart.


Thank you for the learning.


I am so grateful. 

Return from Our Purpose in Life

This article was written by the nonconforming professional, Val Hemminger

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