De-Jonesing Your Success Mindset
Be, Do Have

This article looks at the success mindset and the BE DO HAVE principle. A true success mindset works if you do not wait to have the items and things of your dreams before you start living the life you want to live.  Start now and be the person you want to be.  Do the things you want to do.  It is only then, that having will flow.  The irony is that the having becomes way less important once you have the being figured out. 

This means different things to different people.  The thing is that, as professionals, we would likely all describe ourselves as successful individuals.  What does that mean?  Well, it means different things to different people.  For some, this includes us finally getting the career we’ve been working so hard for or earning a lot of money.  

Is This Really Success?

Is this success? For some of us, it might be. Regardless of your personal definition of success, if you are anything like me, it is something you are continually striving for and have not reached yet.  Because I always created more and more goals, success for me was always continually just beyond my grasp.  My success mindset was killing my soul.

Introducing:  Be Do Have

It goes like this.  Consider that you have 10 million dollars and ask yourself these 3 questions: 

Who would I be?

What would I do?

What would I have? 

Having

Western culture has this totally mixed up.  We are taught that once we have certain things (our degree, our career, our house etc.) then and only then can we be who we want to be.  When I started my law firm, I experienced extreme financial pressure that resulted in crushing stress.  I believed that I could only be happy, patient, loving, and enjoy life once I enjoyed having my finances sorted out. 

What I eventually realized (and none of this came easy with huge personal cost) was that I had to be patient, kind, loving, healthy, and successful before the have of success followed. 

For me, being successful now includes a healthy body, healthy relationships, a healthy spirit, living without the burden of addiction and way more simplicity in my life.  Unfortunately I had to lose a lot and go through an enormous amount of pain to really understand this concept. 

Being

So rather than waiting until I have the things I want to have in order to be who I want to be, I am being who I want to be now.  

We can all be who we want to be starting right now.  This is a daily practice and takes a lot of effort but we do not have to wait to be. 

Take a few moments and really think about who you are being right now and compare that to who you really want to be. Do you want to be a better parent, be happier than you are right now, be wealthier, skinnier, be better at your job? 

The thing is that our western culture says that we cannot be who we want to be until we have the money or trappings as prescribed by our western culture. We are convinced that we will only be happy once we get that new such and such. 

It is backwards.  If we focus on the have, true success will always elude us.  The order we have to really follow is be, do, and then have and only then have.   I would take it one step further and say that all we really need to do is be and do. 

Doing

Ask yourself next, that if you had 10 million dollars, what would you do?  

A lot of people would say they want to travel, spend more time with their families, take more time off work, or spend more time hiking etc.  

When I got off the hamster wheel of keeping up with the Joneses, I noticed that I had way way more time to do what I truly want to do.  When I started to De-Jones my life, I immediately had more time, more energy, and more money. 

What I have learned is that I want to be loving and be peaceful.  I want to watch the sunrise, and I want to listen to the birds.  I don’t need to have a bunch of money in order to be and do those things. 

I have had to change my success mindset in order to feel true success.


Written by Val Hemminger, the nonconforming professional

Return from success mindset

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